Conflict management

What it is about

A conflict training course set off a process of change in me personally that led me to coaching. Since then, dealing with conflict constructively has been one of the topics closest to my heart.

Unresolved conflicts cost energy, motivation and often good employees as well. Addressed early, they become an opportunity for better collaboration.

Typical situations

• Tensions between colleagues
• Conflicts between business departments and IT
• Disputes over responsibilities after a restructuring
• A strained working relationship with a manager
• Recurring escalations in projects

How far has it already gone?

Friedrich Glasl described how conflicts escalate through nine stages, grouped into three sections. This classification is useful because it shows what is still possible at which point:

• Stages 1 to 3 – both sides can still win. Positions harden, people talk about each other rather than with each other, facts are created. Here a facilitated conversation is often enough and those involved resolve it themselves.
• Stages 4 to 6 – one side wins, one loses. It becomes about image and alliances, threats come into play. Now outside accompaniment is needed; those involved rarely find their way out under their own steam.
• Stages 7 to 9 – both sides lose. Damage to oneself is accepted as long as the other side suffers more. Here conflict facilitation is no longer the right instrument; then it is about management decisions or separation.

The practical consequence: the earlier you bring someone in, the more options remain. Waiting for something to “calm down by itself” is the most common reason a tension becomes a case for the HR department.

How I work

1. Individual interviewsEach side describes its view in confidence.
2. Conflict analysisWhat is really at stake? Which interests and needs lie behind it?
3. Resolution meetingA facilitated conversation with clear rules.
4. Develop solutionsThose involved work out viable agreements themselves.
5. Follow-up meetingIs the agreement holding? Does anything need adjusting?

Methods and tools

• Active listening
• Nonviolent Communication
• Glasl's stages of conflict escalation
• Four-sides model of communication
• Working with the inner team
• Solution-focused conversation techniques

What you receive

• Understanding of the other side's point of view
• Written agreements
• Collaboration that works again
• Ideas for preventing conflict

Frequently asked questions

When should you bring in outside help?

At the latest when conversations between those involved no longer lead anywhere, positions harden or the work noticeably suffers. The earlier, the easier the resolution.

Do the conversations remain confidential?

Yes. All information is treated confidentially and only passed on with express consent.

Do you decide who is right?

No. I am on the side of all parties equally and help those involved to find a solution themselves that works for everyone.

What if one side does not want to take part?

Then a resolution has little prospect of success – forced conversations tend to harden positions. What does make sense is an individual conversation with the side that is willing: often it becomes clear what the resistance means and what first step would be possible. Sometimes it is simply the wrong moment.

How long does resolving a conflict take?

For a conflict between two people it is typically one individual conversation each, one joint clarification conversation and a follow-up after a few weeks. Conflicts between departments or in larger teams take longer, because more perspectives come together.

What does it cost?

The rates are in the price list. The initial consultation, in which we clarify whether and how accompaniment makes sense, is free of charge.